Is your copy "highlighted" in appropriate places? Check that your headline is enclosed with "inverted commas" for emphasis. Are major points in bold? Add highlighting and emphasis where appropriate, but remember that "TOO MUCH" emphasis will de-emphasize.
I am about to set up a clothing label, is there any website links or info available for people setting up a business for the first time? Also i`ve been told about a type of copywrite where you can post everything you want to be copywritten to yourself through recorded delivery, is this true?